With Christ or In Christ? A Reflection on True Fellowship with Jesus
For the past several months, our pastoral team has partnered with a sister church to develop a daily journal designed to deepen our relationship with Jesus. This journal, based on With by Skye Jethani, lays out daily spiritual practices for 45 days, encouraging detachment from recreational phone use, contemplation of Scripture, intentional prayer, and acts of service. The goal is simple: to cultivate a greater awareness of Jesus’ presence in our lives.
Each day, the journal leads us through structured “Practices”:
Morning: The Lord’s Prayer
Midday: Prayer for a lost person
Evening: A prayer of gratitude
Scripture readings: One passage from the Psalms and one from the Gospels, read slowly and contemplatively
Reflection: “What stands out to you?” “What questions do you have?” “What will you carry with you today?”
A 20-minute walk to admire God’s creation
10–15 minutes of journaling
Recording the number of minutes spent on recreational phone use
Periodic “challenges” such as giving a generous tip, serving at a community center, or visiting a shut-in
On the surface, these disciplines appear well-intended and valuable. They promote mindfulness, attentiveness to God, and service to others. And yet, something about the framework of the journal unsettled me. It took time to discern why.
The central passage underlying this practice is John 15—the abiding text, where Jesus says, "Abide in Me, and I in you."Yet, interestingly, the language of the book With does not emphasize in Christ but with Him. That subtle distinction carries profound theological weight.
This concern came to a head when my pastor mentioned the journal in a sermon and invited us to approach him afterward with any thoughts or questions. I took the opportunity to ask whether he saw the difference between being with Christ and being in Christ. He responded that in Christ is an identity issue, while with Him is a relational stance.
I cannot see anything more relational than being in Christ—spiritually united with Him, rather than merely going through life with Him. I attempted to explore the issue further, but mid-sentence, he turned away to greet someone else, leaving my question unresolved. I left without further comment, simply saying, "I see you are busy."
In the past, I would have been hurt by such an abrupt dismissal. But I wasn’t. I know my identity in Christ, and my security no longer hinges on whether others acknowledge or engage with my questions. Still, I was saddened—not for myself, but for the reality that such an essential distinction was brushed aside. This difference matters deeply, not just as an intellectual nuance, but because it shapes how we walk with God.
The Difference Between With Christ and In Christ
The distinction between these two perspectives is not trivial.
To be with Christ can imply companionship, journeying alongside Him, learning from Him, imitating Him, obeying Him. It aligns with a mindset that sees the Christian life as a relationship of discipleship—where we look to Jesus as our guide and model, striving to walk in step with Him.
To be in Christ, however, speaks of an organic, inseparable union. It is not merely about walking alongside Him; it is about sharing His very life. Paul consistently uses in Christ to describe our new existence as believers:
"I have been crucified with Christ, and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me." (Gal. 2:20)
"For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God." (Col. 3:3)
"But by His doing you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, and righteousness and sanctification, and redemption." (1 Cor. 1:30)
This is not merely a matter of identity; it is the very core of our relationship with Christ. Fellowship with Him is not something we attain through structured disciplines—it is something we obtain in full at the moment of salvation. We do not strive to be near Him; we are in Him, and He in us. The Christian life is not about learning to walk with Christ; it is about yielding to His life within us.
Does the Journal Reflect True Fellowship?
This is where the With journal, for all its well-meaning intentions, seems to fall short. The structured disciplines—while helpful as tools—subtly reinforce a with Christ paradigm. The daily prayers, walks, and reflections can easily become exercises in reaching for God rather than resting in the reality that we are already united with Him.
The danger here is not in practicing these disciplines, but in how they are framed. If we begin to see them as the means by which we “cultivate” our relationship with Christ, we unwittingly place ourselves back under a principle of law—striving toward something that has already been freely given. Instead of responding to the life of Christ within, we risk trying to manufacture intimacy through effort.
This is precisely what Paul warns against in Romans 7—the exhaustion of trying to live righteously through self-effort. The journal, though not explicitly legalistic, can subtly encourage a Sinai mindset, where we are still trying to draw near to God rather than acknowledging that we have already come to Mount Zion (Heb. 12:22).
A Dichotomist Mindset?
My pastor’s response also aligns with a broader theological difference. Dichotomists, like him, often view being a “new creation” as a positional truth rather than a present spiritual reality. If they believe that regeneration does not truly make the believer’s spirit new, then sanctification becomes a process of working to conform one’s soul (mind, will, emotions) to Christ. The with Christ perspective fits well within this framework—where transformation is primarily about effort and spiritual discipline rather than yielding to an already indwelling life.
But if we believe in a true spiritual rebirth, then sanctification is not about working toward a standard, but about responding to the Spirit who already lives within us. The dichotomist framework often leads to an emphasis on disciplines as the primary means of spiritual growth, whereas the in Christ paradigm emphasizes yielding to the life of Christ that is already present.
Moving Forward
Where do I go from here?
Further engagement with my pastor? His dismissal suggests he may not be interested in exploring this distinction further. Unless he reopens the conversation, it may not be fruitful to push the issue.
How do I approach the journal? I can still engage with the practices while reframing them in light of my union with Christ. Instead of seeing them as means to cultivate intimacy with Jesus, I can use them as moments to respond to His life already in me.
Who else might be open? Perhaps others in my church have sensed something missing. Rather than forcing a discussion where there is resistance, I can remain available for those who are hungry for something deeper.
Final Thoughts
This is not a debate over words. It is a question of how we understand our very life in Christ. Are we still striving toward a relationship with Him, or are we resting in the reality that we are already united to Him?
The invitation of the New Covenant is clear: stop striving at the foot of Sinai and step into the joy of Zion. Christ does not merely walk with us—He lives in us. The fullness of our relationship with Him is not achieved through effort, but realized through faith.
And in that reality, we lack nothing.
📸 Photo Credit: Unsplash
📝 Journal Framework Credit: With by Skye Jethani