Disciplined or Dependent?

It’s not about how early I rise—but who I rise with. Abiding isn’t a task—it’s a relationship.

A Conversation About Spiritual Practices and the Exchanged Life

“Abide in Me, and I in you… apart from Me you can do nothing.” – John 15:4–5
“Train yourself for godliness.” – 1 Timothy 4:7

A Friendly Conversation in the Coffee Shop of the Heart

Chris:
Hey, I’ve been getting back into some spiritual disciplines lately—early morning prayer, reading through the Bible in a year, fasting once a week. Honestly, it’s been really helpful. I feel like I’m finally getting serious about my walk with God.

Me:
That’s awesome, man. I love your heart to grow. I remember when I first started setting aside consistent time with the Lord too—it felt like a huge shift. But let me ask you something: do you ever feel like your relationship with God rises and falls based on how well you're doing with those habits?

Chris:
Yeah… actually, I do. Like, when I miss a couple days, I start thinking I’ve let God down or that I’m drifting. So I double down on the schedule. I guess I figure discipline is the only way I’ll ever really grow.

Me:
Totally get it. I used to live that way too—thinking spiritual disciplines were the key to staying close to God. But eventually I started to see something deeper in Scripture. Growth isn’t about mastering a routine—it’s about learning to abide.

The Disciplinarian’s Argument

Chris leans in, curious. “But Paul says we’re supposed to train ourselves for godliness, right? First Timothy 4:7 literally says, ‘Discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness.’ Isn’t that what we’re doing when we wake up early to read the Word or spend time in prayer?”

He flips through his notes. “Jesus prayed all night. David meditated on the law day and night. Paul beat his body to keep it under control (1 Cor. 9:27). Don’t these examples show us that discipline is part of a healthy spiritual life?”

A Perspective Shift: From Discipline to Dependence

I nod. “You're not wrong—there’s value in rhythms. But here's what I’ve come to believe: the point of spiritual practices isn’t to earn closeness with God or to prove our devotion. It’s to create space to abide.”

I go on: “John 15 doesn’t say, ‘Try hard to be fruitful.’ It says, ‘Abide in Me, and I in you… apart from Me you can do nothing.’ That’s not a call to performance. That’s a call to remain connected—to live out of union, not routine.”

Chris furrows his brow. “So are you saying discipline is bad?”

“Not at all. But the danger is this: when we turn disciplines into a ladder for approval—or worse, a scoreboard for spiritual progress—we miss the whole point. The Pharisees were incredibly disciplined. But Jesus said their hearts were far from God.”

What the Exchanged Life Offers Instead

“Abiding,” I say gently, “isn't about achieving. It’s about depending. It's resting in the truth that Christ is your life (Col. 3:4), and learning to live from that place moment by moment. Spiritual practices are beautiful when they flow from life,not when they try to produce it.”

“Imagine,” I add, “starting your morning not to impress God or maintain a streak, but simply because you enjoy being with Him. That’s not discipline talking—that’s relationship. That’s love.”

Chris looks thoughtful. “I guess I’ve been kind of white-knuckling it—hoping God will notice.”

I smile. “He already lives in you, brother. And He’s not grading your devotional life. He’s inviting you to rest in His.”

A Grace-Filled Wrap-Up

If you’ve been grinding away at your spiritual routine, hoping it will make you more acceptable to God—pause and take a deep breath. He’s not impressed by your discipline. He’s delighted by your trust.

Yes, engage with Scripture. Yes, take time for prayer. But not to earn points. Do it because He’s already near, already pleased in His Son, already living His life in you. Don’t aim to be disciplined. Aim to be dependent.

Discipline may start the fire. But only abiding keeps it burning.

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