Staying Out of God’s Chair: Finding Freedom from Control and Compulsion in Christ

“If you want to get along with God, stay out of His chair.” – Jack Taylor

This quote by Jack Taylor holds deep wisdom, especially for those of us who wrestle with the need for control. Staying out of God’s chair means recognizing that ultimate authority belongs to God alone. But for many, this is easier said than done. What happens when our need for control turns into compulsive actions or anxious thoughts we can’t seem to shake? How do we find freedom when our own methods for “staying in control” begin to control us?

In a 1992 ministry letter, Dr. Bill Gillham shared the story of a woman grappling with obsessive-compulsive behaviors—spinning around three times and flipping the light switch before leaving her house, especially when feeling anxious. Dr. Gillham’s response to her struggle is a refreshing reminder of what it means to walk in grace and surrender rather than relying on human effort. As Gillham explains, true freedom doesn’t come from trying harder to overcome our behaviors but rather from letting go of control and allowing Christ to live through us.

In this post, we’ll explore how Taylor’s quote and Gillham’s approach to counseling offer valuable insights for those of us seeking a deeper relationship with Christ—one marked by surrender, peace, and trust in God’s sovereignty.

Recognizing the Root of Control

The desire to control our surroundings often stems from a desire for security. The woman in Dr. Gillham’s example felt that she needed to perform certain rituals to feel “safe” enough to leave her home. Similarly, we may develop our own rituals or thought patterns as ways to manage our insecurities. But when these methods become compulsions, they can quickly take over, leaving us feeling trapped.

Gillham explains that the root issue is not necessarily the behavior itself but a deeper mindset rooted in self-reliance. From birth, we are inclined to set up “our own private little kingdom,” he says. We start life declaring ourselves “lord of the ring” and insisting on doing things “our way.” Yet, God’s design for us is the opposite. He calls us to surrender our personal kingdoms and trust Him fully. The process of yielding control, as difficult as it may feel, leads to peace, freedom, and rest.

The World’s Solution vs. God’s Solution

Many would suggest that the woman in Gillham’s example needs professional counseling to address her obsessive behaviors. While professional help can be beneficial, Gillham argues that true freedom requires a Christ-centered approach rather than merely “Christian-flavored” psychotherapy. Secular counseling often aims to strengthen our coping mechanisms and increase our sense of autonomy—“to stand on our own two feet,” as Gillham puts it. But God’s solution is different.

Rather than relying on ourselves, God calls us to abandon self-reliance and depend wholly on Him. Christ-centered discipleship, rather than self-help, empowers us to live in alignment with our identity in Christ. When we place our hope in Christ rather than our efforts to control, we shift our focus from fixing ourselves to resting in Him, allowing Him to express His life through us.

Steps Toward Freedom: A Practical Guide to Letting Go of Control

Gillham outlines several steps that we can take to experience freedom in Christ, especially when struggling with controlling or compulsive behaviors. These steps are a process of discipleship—of learning to walk by faith rather than by our own strength.

1. Recognize Your Position: Start by acknowledging that only God has the right to sit on the “throne” of your life. This step requires humility and the willingness to let go of our desire to control every outcome. As Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.”

2. Claim Your Death in Christ: Galatians 2:20 says, “I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me.” This powerful truth reminds us that our old self—the self that seeks control and autonomy—has died with Christ. We no longer have to depend on ourselves to manage life; we can depend on Christ in us.

3. Embrace Your Identity in Christ: Understanding and resting in our identity as new creations in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17) is foundational. When we realize that we are fully accepted by God, not based on our performance but on Christ’s finished work, we are freed from the need to prove ourselves or control everything.

4. Trust God’s Truth Over Your Feelings: For many of us, our feelings—especially anxiety—can feel like ultimate truth. However, Gillham reminds us that we need to look to God as our source of truth rather than our emotions. Colossians 3:3 states that our life is “hidden with Christ in God,” providing a secure foundation that isn’t dependent on how we feel at any moment.

5. Recognize the Spiritual Battle: Scripture tells us that the enemy often uses deception to plant obsessive or fearful thoughts in our minds. When we recognize that these thoughts may not even come from us but from the enemy, we can refuse to entertain them. By focusing on Christ, we invite His peace and truth to fill our minds instead.

6. Allow Christ to Live Through You: True victory over controlling behaviors isn’t about using sheer willpower to resist compulsions. Instead, it’s about surrendering to Christ’s life within us, trusting Him to express His life in every moment, even in the face of temptation or anxiety. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13) becomes a living reality when we lean on Him.

7. Rest in His Strength, Not Yours: The Christian life isn’t about trying harder; it’s about letting Christ work through us. When we realize that His power is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9), we can rest, knowing that we don’t need to rely on our own strength to overcome challenges. The weight of control is lifted as we find rest in His presence.

Bringing It All Together: From Compulsion to Freedom

The journey from compulsive control to freedom is not about adopting a list of steps or performing perfectly. Rather, it’s about growing in relationship with Christ, learning to trust Him as our sufficiency. Taylor’s simple, yet profound advice—“If you want to get along with God, stay out of His chair”—reminds us to let God be God and find rest in His sovereignty.

For the woman in Gillham’s example, the path to freedom lies not in mastering a new set of self-help techniques but in surrendering her compulsion to the One who holds all things together. And this truth applies to us all. Whether it’s anxiety, compulsive habits, or the struggle to control our circumstances, freedom is found in acknowledging that God alone is in control and allowing Christ to express His life through us.

Letting go of control may feel difficult, but it opens the door to experiencing the peace, rest, and joy that God promises to those who trust Him. Rather than expending our energy trying to manage life’s uncertainties, we can rest in the assurance that He is sufficient for every need.

So, as we face each day, let’s remember: the chair belongs to God. When we stay out of it, we find the freedom to live fully, trusting in His strength, and experiencing His life in and through us.