Loving Your Spouse from the Overflow of Union with Christ

"When the fragrance of Christ fills your heart, it overflows into the life of those you love—especially the one closest to you."

Galatians 5 is Paul’s pastoral plea for believers to remain in the freedom Christ died to secure—not a freedom to indulge the flesh, nor a license to disregard others, but a Spirit-filled liberty that expresses itself in love. Paul warns the Galatians that if they seek righteousness through circumcision or law-keeping, Christ will be of no benefit to them. To trust in the law is to fall away from grace, because grace is not something we earn—it’s the very ground we now stand on in Christ.

What’s so deeply encouraging about this chapter is its reminder that the Spirit doesn’t just free us from the law; He forms Christ within us. Love becomes the true fulfillment of the law—not a checklist of requirements, but the fruit of the Spirit flowing from within. Paul contrasts the works of the flesh with the fruit of the Spirit, showing that the source of our behavior matters. The flesh produces envy, strife, and self-centeredness. The Spirit, on the other hand, bears love, joy, peace, and more—all as one singular fruit, not plural efforts.

The call to “keep in step with the Spirit” isn’t about frantic effort—it’s about rhythmic, restful alignment with the One who lives within. This affects our relationships most deeply, especially those closest to us. Walking by the Spirit is not theoretical—it transforms the way we love, serve, and give ourselves for others, starting with our own household.

Personal Journal Reflection:

As I reflect on Galatians 5, I see so clearly that it speaks directly to something the Lord’s been shaping in me lately. It confirms that striving through spiritual disciplines to somehow “draw closer” to Christ is misguided—because He’s already as close as He could possibly be. He dwells in me. I’m not pursuing proximity—I’m abiding in union.

And yet, something beautiful has happened: as I’ve come to adore Christ more deeply, I’ve found myself drawn to the disciplines—not out of obligation, but out of sheer delight. I’m spending nearly all my free time in devotionals, in the Word, especially in the Grace and Truth Study Bible readings—and I’m loving every moment. I honestly can’t remember ever experiencing this kind of joy before. It’s as if my heart has found its home and doesn’t want to wander.

But then my wife made a quiet, heartfelt comment that’s been lingering in my spirit. She said she feels as though she’s lost me a bit—to this passion, to this pursuit of Christ. And that did trouble me. Not because I regret where I’ve been drawn, but because I know this pursuit is not meant to be an end in itself—and certainly not a substitute for loving her well. God forbid it be fueled by the flesh in disguise. The Spirit keeps reminding me that the love I’m enjoying in Christ was never meant to be contained. It’s meant to overflow—especially toward her.

I suspect I’m entering a new season of joyful intensity in my walk with the Lord. It’s exhilarating. And I trust, over time, it will settle—not by diminishing, but by integrating into every part of life, especially marriage. I don’t want to isolate in my adoration of Christ—I want it to spill over into warmth, laughter, gentleness, and intentional love toward my wife.

Right now, it feels like I’m standing under a waterfall—completely captivated and saturated with the presence of Christ. But I know the Spirit desires to let that water run in streams into my home, my marriage, my conversations. I hear His invitation: Let My life in you become life for her, too. Not by dialing down my joy—but by drawing her into its warmth. I think that’s the adjustment the Spirit is making in me.

Maybe it starts simply—sharing with her how the Lord is stirring my heart, listening more deeply, inviting her not into the study time itself, but into the fragrance of it. When my joy spills over into cherishing her, she won’t feel that she’s lost me. She’ll feel she’s been drawn closer into what’s most alive in me.

And that—that is what Galatians 5 looks like in a marriage: freedom in the Spirit that expresses itself in love.

Personalized Journal Entry (in the voice of the Holy Spirit through Scripture):

You were called to freedom, not a freedom that isolates in self-focus, but a freedom that overflows in love. The freedom I’ve given you in Christ is not meant to fuel pursuit for your own fulfillment, but to release My life through you. You have crucified the flesh with its old coping patterns, and now you live by Me.

This freedom is not for indulgence but for intimacy—intimacy with Me that blossoms into love for those closest to you. I have made My home within you. Christ is not far off, needing to be reached through effort. He dwells in your spirit. And in that union, you are complete. You do not pursue Him to gain closeness—you delight in Him because you are already one.

As you delight in Me, do not let that delight stop with you. Let it fill the room, like the aroma of costly perfume poured out in worship. Your joy in Me is real, and I rejoice in it—but let it spill gently over the one I’ve placed beside you. Your wife is not separate from this joy. Let her see that she is cherished in the overflow of it.

When you love her from My life in you, you fulfill the law—not by duty, but by delight. There is no law against such things. Walk by Me. Let Me guide you in the timing, in the tone, in the tenderness. I do not ask you to lessen your delight in Me—I invite you to widen it, until it covers every step, every glance, every word. Keep in step with Me, and I will make your love for her the fragrance of Christ.

Scripture References: Galatians 5:1–26, Romans 8:9–11, John 14:20, Ephesians 5:1–2, John 12:3, 2 Corinthians 2:14

Prayer:

Father, I thank You for the joy You’ve placed in my heart—a joy that comes not from what I do, but from knowing that Christ is in me, and I am in Him. You’ve drawn me into the disciplines not as duty, but as delight, and I rejoice in the beauty of this season. Still, I hear the Spirit’s gentle whisper, inviting me to let this joy spill over in love—especially toward my wife. You’ve not called me to compartmentalize my worship, but to live it out in every relationship. So I rest in Your Spirit’s leading, trusting You to guide my steps, soften my tone, and express Your affection through me. What a gift it is to love her—not from self-effort, but from the overflow of union with Christ.

Amen.

Devotional Credit:
Insights summarized and adapted from the Grace and Truth Study Bible (Zondervan, 2021).

Photo Credit:
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