Living in the Garden of Grace: A Fulfilling Marriage
David Kuykendall, in Living in the Garden of Grace, offers beautiful insight into what it takes to have a fulfilling, Christ-centered marriage. He brings us to Ephesians 5:22-33, a passage that sets forth God’s design for marriage, grounded in submission, love, and grace.
The passage begins with a foundational truth: “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church.” At first glance, this might seem daunting or even outdated in today’s world, but Kuykendall’s approach reminds us that this is not about dominance or hierarchy—it’s about reflecting the unity and love of Christ and His church. Submission here is a grace-filled, Spirit-led response, not a burden.
For husbands, the call is equally clear and equally demanding: to love their wives as Christ loved the church, with a self-sacrificing, unconditional love. Husbands are exhorted to love their wives as they love their own bodies—nourishing, cherishing, and providing for them. Paul concludes with this timeless command: “Let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband” (Ephesians 5:33).
Living by Grace in Marriage
Kuykendall explains that living up to these high standards is only possible through grace. For wives, this means submitting to and respecting their husbands, not out of obligation or fear, but as an overflow of the grace of God working in their lives. Grace enables a wife to live in harmony with her husband as she walks in step with Christ.
For husbands, living by grace means being filled with God’s love and light, which naturally flows into their marriages. A husband who abides in Christ is equipped to love his wife sacrificially and unconditionally, nurturing her spiritually and emotionally, just as Christ nurtures the church.
This grace-filled dynamic transforms marriage from a mere partnership into a living illustration of Christ’s relationship with His bride, the church. It is a testimony to the world of the power of God’s love and the beauty of His design.
The Path to a Grace-Filled Marriage
If you’re wondering how to embody these principles in your own marriage, Kuykendall’s insights point us to a few key truths:
Abide in Christ – Both husbands and wives must live in daily dependence on the grace and sufficiency of Christ. Only then can they reflect His love and humility in their marriage.
Walk in the Spirit – Grace empowers believers to live out the high calling of marriage through the fruit of the Spirit, such as love, patience, and kindness.
Embrace God’s Design – A fulfilling marriage isn’t about perfection, but about aligning our hearts with God’s plan and trusting Him to work in and through us.
Conclusion
A fulfilling marriage isn’t achieved through sheer willpower or mutual compromise alone—it’s the result of God’s grace at work in the lives of two people who are committed to Him and to each other. As Kuykendall reminds us, when husbands and wives live by grace, their marriage becomes a powerful testimony to the love, sacrifice, and redemption found in Christ.
So, whether you are newly married, have been married for decades, or are preparing for marriage, remember this: a marriage rooted in grace reflects the heart of God and brings glory to His name.